Tuesday, May 25, 2010

song & recipe pairing...really?

(thanks to Food Network Humor for sharing this ridiculousness... their words, not mine)

"Let’s take a closer look at the awful tracklist, shall we?

1. Get Ready – Everything
The snippets they play of this song during the NFNS commercials are annoying enough. I have no desire to hear the full length version, but thanks.

2. Poppin’ My Collar – Three 6 Mafia
This song has ZERO place on a CD about cooking. But the lyrics sure are special, aren’t they? I especially like the first verse: “A lot dudes like to pay ladies to get laid; but me I ain’t no pimp, I just love to borrow paper from a fat bitch, an ugly bitch, a model for real.” Quality entertainment!

3. What I Like About You – The Romantics
This is one of my top 10 most hated songs of all time. It makes me want to punch a baby. Enough said.

4. I Walk The Line – Johnny Cash
Poor Johnny Cash. He must be rolling over in his grave.

5. Girls Just Want To Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper
Two words: PLAYED OUT. If I never had to hear this song for the rest of my life, I’d be a happy girl.

6. Mambo Italiano – Rosemary Clooney
Wow. Another one of my top 10 most hated songs of all time! You’re on a roll, Next Food Network Star CD! Let me guess. This was Giada’s contribution?

7. Walk This Way – Aerosmith / Run-D.M.C.
Another shitty song. Blah, blah, blah.

8. All The Young Dudes – Mott the Hoople
I just heard this song for the first time tonight, and I honestly want those 2 minutes of my life back. This song is painfully, wretchedly, horridly bad. And again, it has nothing to do with cooking. It sounds like Ina Garten’s theme song.

9. Black Magic Woman/Gypsy Queen – Santana
Hate this song. Hate. It.

10. And We Danced – The Hooters
Nothing like an awful 80s prom song to get you in the mood to cook! The Hooters, eh? Is this another one of Giada’s picks?

11. Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley
Yum-o! I love being depressed while eating!

12. I Don’t Want To Be – Gavin DeGraw
Yeah. I don’t want to either. At all. Trust me.

13. Sara Smile – Hall & Oates
What, exactly, does this song have to do with Next Food Network Star? Anyone?

14. Suavemente – Elvis Crespo
Excuse me? Who the f is… Elvis Crespo? I just googled his name, and found out he’s some Latin singer who was accused of MASTURBATING ON A PLANE. Nice choice, Food Network! Epic, really! (And for the record, that’s it. I’m never using an airplane blanket ever again.)

15. Oh Child (Things Are Gonna Get Easier) – The Five Stairsteps
Oh my God. How freaking cliche can you get?

16. I Want Candy – Bow Wow Wow
Hate the song, but at least it’s about food.

17. Milkshake – Kelis
OLDEST SONG EVER. Regardless, “milkshake” is slang for breasts… so I’m guessing this is Giada’s 3rd and final pick?

Congratulations, Food Network. It’s truly awe-inspiring how you managed to cram so many crappy songs on one CD."

:: xoxo! ::

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